I really enjoyed the empathy circle process because I listen to people in a way that is so much harder to do outside of this process. It gives me the opportunity to practice what I do want to put into my real life and my personal relationships and everything else. Just the beauty of it.
I think that active listening is skill. I was fortunate enough to get some training earlier in life and it is good to keep up with that because just to devote yourself entirely to listening and not to be thinking about what you are going to say back and to be genuinely invested in taking everything in and just listening to what the person is saying is a skill. It is an exercised skill and I think we are flexing that muscle. I think it’s good.
I like that description of it being like a muscle. We have to practiced it to become good at it. I don’t know if good is the word. I think we all have post traumatic stress right now from the way the dialogue has been going. This is kind of an elixir to slow down, and be present, and get to know what is going on behind it all. And that is very much needed right now. So I hope more of us do it.
E Circle Sat Nov 16th - Notes from Dave
Dave Co Facilitator
Rick Feltington L
Evan Magor L
Tyler Morris R
Grew up in Bay and mother wanted a daughter and said he was gay and encouraged femininity . AS a response T. joined military. Moved to the right as a response. No check in gender issues from left. Moved to left. Men are important.”We need good Men”
Edwin To Rick.
“Men have to go to end of Line” at Church.. ˆwas shocked”
Religious leaders were going along with this”
Rick to Evan..
Black woman who is British speaking about wakens 2.0
has experienced backlash to whiteness/maleness on left.
hierarchy of victimization
my fear is that .. what if this moment/ backlash is not part of the healing process is not part of the healing process? I’m scared that we still live in a religious society, Far Left is prosecuting sins, we live in a judgmental society.
Tyler to Rick,
, righteousness is being turned into tyranny. of course we want gender, racial equality etc.. but there is orthodoxy/shutting down the dialogue intolerance if anyone disagrees with anything? Damore thinks the way he does because that’s how his min works. Orthodoxy is being weaponized by the left. I love Jordan Peterson….
Rick to Edwin:
I totally get and feel Tyler’s point. When Bucky Fuller said there’s a big rudder and when un move it a bit big changes can happen.
Prison system has racist elements needs to be reformed and he wants to honor that. Whats going on underneath violence in white men. For most people emotional content has been suppressed., maybe the violence is the suppression of emotion. “my father died when I was 23 and he never cried”.
There is a level of suffering with men as well. Its hard for people to see all that.whatever tools we can find that lets everyone be heard is what we need.
..essence of racism and sexism are different forms of judgement,
we can judge by
perpetual culture of judgement, lets just hear what is the problem..Milo and Breitbart creatively demonized the tent and it was amusing…I invited Breitbart people to E Circle and they all quieted down..
i aligned with Rick on disproportion of black men in prison, statistics are disheartening… we need to define words we use, dictionary definition antagonism towards others based on skin color.. SJW uses different definition. my sense is SJW defines it a a system that gives advantages based on race. Beveray Anuls Tatum..
Being white is by definition inherently racist. because of advantages of racists system. You can use this method to shut people down label them.
Tyler to Rick.
Picking up on male suffering.. don’t know how to talk about toxic masculinity. men are put in position where men get angry and violent and are not empathized with. Men not given enough opportunity toe express emotion. “every male serial killer was dressed up as a women as a child.
I want to be talking about healthy masculinity.” They weren’t taught how to show masculinity. Agrees with definitions is very important. Harder to be heard if u have a more conservative POV, left is restructuring the definition in order to gain advantage..we need to discuss our definitions..
it hurts me a lot the way things have been in last few years, the pain and wounding that is very deep from multi generations, the trauma of black people killed on video…In the most amazing moments of my life there has been no race, if we were more evolved there would be no race….there is an institutional racism,, there’s always power dynamics, i don’t like ithe idea that it just flows in one directions, i could be in a situation with all women…trying to give anecdotal evidence.
Evan to Tyler:
tribalism is a lot of what we are talking, far left is another tribalism, left is trying to cure tribalism with more tribalism….i’ve always put my sights on Free Will. I had to analyze that in myself, our language is still religious, “ Is it racist to do this?”
WE can judge what is right and wrong.. Free will and religion.. Tying it back to male suffering, there is more empathy for animals because we don’t assign the idea of free will like we do with humans..
“Correlation between free will and right wrong”..
Free Will was used to punish people.Dogs bit because it is their nature, humans can “do better” Sprinkle some hope’ In there same way we analyze the dog’s behavior we need to start analyzing the needs of humans, meeting peoples needs..As looming as you believe in Free Will then we have a rationalizations for blaming
2 tours in marines.. Africa and Afghanistan.. want to talk about BLM. I have a lot frinds who are BLM. I didn’t join BLM because it wasn’t about fixing the problem it was about expressing anger. It was about going and picking a fight with a cop. It was very angry..I am against anger. I am an expert in violence. AntiFa is violent…
Empathizes with Tyler saying he is not to be listened to. I am not usually the one speaking the most. Not being to speak.Its better to be somewhere where everyone is being honored.A lot of assumptions being made about victimization.
I don’t think transgender is real, Giving hormones to kids is abuse science, like in global warming, is being ignored. What we are doing here , empathy is the way to address this stuff.. Jordan Peterson and James Damore discuss the science.., I get really upset about this transgender. Trolliness from the right is funny.. but it does get about of of hand… If u don’t know about “Kekistan you don’t know how trump got elected”I am a part of this right wing internet culture..
Edwin to Evan….
Pleased that Tyler is talking about the empathy forward…Maybe we should go to Sacrament cap steps and demand Dem’s do Empathy Circle with the Right…Empathy movement everyone should be heard goes beyond individual tribes..
Evan to Rick…we talk a lot about philosophy but we don’t often get to application. Specifically I would like to see more conversations about “ what can we do about so many Black Men in prison? What can we do about gaps in inequality. Could not find a group NGO working on inequality..I wish more people would actually be doing stiff instead of just posting on social media..
Rick. Appreciative Tyler is here. Doesn’t know anything about Kekisatn..
Tyler : don’t want to rely on govt. one solution would be to stop thinking about people as black or white. I appreciate being listened to.
Evan: I really enjoyed the circle. Appreciate the process, its so different, especially when you compare it with what happens with standard dialogue, want to help in whatever way I can..
Notes From Edwin
Definition of words.. What do we mean.. Don’t see it happening.
Dictionary definition of Racism - prejudice. Antagonism. Thinks one's own race is superior.
SJW - have a different definition of racism.
A system that gives advantages based on race.
A definition that says being white is racist. By definition. White is inherently racist.
This can shut down dialogue.
Toxic masculinity of men/
Men are put into a situation where they can get frustrated and violent.
Almost every male serial killer of women, were dressed up as girls when they were young.
Healthy masculinity is what I’m looking for.
Definitions is good to have. We need a common understanding.
The definitions language is controlled by liberals. It’s harder to get heard if you have a conservative view.
Have a hurt feeling
The pain and the wounding.
There were a lot of videos of police killing blacks. Acknowledging how traumatizing it is. Seeing whites this pain comes up. Creates trauma.
There is a duality of the topic of race.
Institutional racism. There are always power dynamic. It changes in different contexts.. In a group of black people or worman.
[feel good about these dialogues.. Glad we are taking it into the the political]
Tribalism.. The far left Curing tribalism with more tribalism.
Free will as a block to empathy. - our language is based on religion..
Our thinking is based on right and wrong - based on judgement.
Male suffering. There is more empathy for animals.
The free will - basis of judgment.. A method of control.
Some hope. A way forwarMore about the underlying needs. The empathic route.
Race - BLM - wasn’t about fixing the problem.
What are the rules of engagement?
Empathy with people - this very seriously works.
When it’s about picking a fight I’m out.
That is my Problem with Antifa. That is where I started moving to the right.
Got flack by BLM - got shut down.
It was the being og empat
Why the left took this on.
Your not listening to us,
Now people on the right don’t feel heard.
Need to acknowledge the problem.
Step one to identify the problem/
Importance of the definition
Issue of the philosophy and then to doing and application - taking action.
We are sad of the pain that black community has.,
What can we do about this?
It takes extra work of what we can do.
Create a non profits.
Get politicians to get involved.
Gaps in resources and income.
There are different approaches of how to take action.